How long to ship to Ottawa

Hey, I was wondering if you could give me an estimated shipping for the 12th gen DIY to Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Within a week

On top of the 1 week, add 4 business days for every right-wing protest going on in downtown Ottawa that the time of delivery, plus 1 extra day if there are hot tubs placed in the middle of the street.

and another two days for every train that gets derailed.

add 4 days to make sure that the balloon delivery system is working