Ok so figured it out. Windows does not expose the option above in either the settings GUI, device manager, or via advanced power scheme settings.
You will have to use the following powercfg command in an elavated CMD window to disable connected standby:
powercfg /setacvalueindex scheme_current sub_none F15576E8-98B7-4186-B944-EAFA664402D9 0
If you want to enable it for some strange reason it would be the same command with a 1 at the end instead:
powercfg /setacvalueindex scheme_current sub_none F15576E8-98B7-4186-B944-EAFA664402D9 1
(You can also use group policy or the registry editor to make the change. I prefer CMD as it is just one line and no hunting around a UI.)
Edit: I just wanted to add that the powercfg options do not seem to persist upong reboot. The best option I’ve found is to use group policies and disable those settings.
Computer Configuration > Administrative Templates > System > Power Management > Sleep Settings
There look for the allow network connectivity options and disable them. (There are two: plugged in and battery)
I personally think this will help with a number of problems described here. I would add that I think disabling connected standby as one of the first maintenance task of setting Windows up is a great idea.